New Responsibilities, a Meaty Schnoz and a Red Eye!

New Responsibilities, a Meaty Schnoz and a Red Eye!
 

Promotion! Studio Manager! What a great way to start the year and all for the good you would think. However, with the new position comes new responsibilities and here is where I hit my first stumbling block.

Tuesday morning, just a normal day. I’m busy working on my next (read first) award winning design, when Mark our Digital Director saunters over, camera in hand. Now to be fair, this was not the first time I’d heard about my Blog photoshoot, (new responsibilities) but totally by accident I’d forgotten, evaded and sabotaged all previous attempts.


I’ll admit I don’t like my photo being taken, I’ve had over 40 years to get use to this face and I still don’t like the look of me. An opinion strangely shared by the parents of all my previous girlfriends.


With nowhere to run and a little unnerved by Mark’s mischievous grin, I accept his invite and prepare for the worse. All prayers for an unfortunate (read wonderful) event to save me go unanswered– there is no urgent rush job (typical), no client meetings (I wish) and despite my best efforts Mark just doesn’t trip once (sorry, but I tried). Let the photoshoot commence.


Grin and bear it is a phrase that comes to mind, and grin I did, I even chuckled a little. Now most photographers will use the tried and tested “SMILE!!” or “CHEESE!!.” Not our Mark, oh no, I get “HOT GYM GIRLS!!!” and “VICTORIA PENDLETON!!” which, credit where is due, seems to do the trick.
Mark bless him, is actually quite a good photographer, I’ve seen a few examples of his work and its really good! Nice composition, good lighting…all very professional. Oh Mark, what went wrong with me? Was it an off day? Camera playing up? It can't be the model surely?


I may be slightly delusional and fancy myself as a George Clooney, Brad Pit hybrid but what happened? My family have said that I have my grandfather’s nose! Liars! I’ve got my fathers, uncles, grandfathers and second cousins all rolled into one meaty schnoz. Excellent!! While we’re talking about generous portions if one chin is good then two or three must be better. Please Sir, I don’t want more. God giveth and guess what God taketh away, and he kept right on taking. Where has all my hair gone, and what little remains has colour matched itself in shade and tone to my scalp with such accuracy as to completely vanish. A feat which Pantone would find hard to equal!


However, all is not lost. Image retouching! I can’t say with any certainty that Photoshop was devised by a similar individual as myself, perhaps he or she was slightly challenged in the looks department, who knows. But let’s look at some of the tools on offer –SPOT HEALING BRUSH – what can I say, kind of speaks for itself. CLONE STAMP TOOL – perfect for those of us with thinning hair. RED EYE – rough night sir? You get the idea.


Adobe Photoshop, what a wonderful creation, now I may never look like George Clooney or Brad Pit even if my close friends repeatedly tell me differently (there is large amounts of money involved) but sometimes image manipulation can be a good thing. By the way, we have no idea who the strange looking gentleman on the right of the Blog photo is, but by the look of him, any monetary donations, dinner invites or just the odd Skinny Latté would be of great help.

24 January 2014

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